we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize