Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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