I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have feelings that need drinking.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
