I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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