so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
