Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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