he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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