it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
