we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
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Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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