i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
