There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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