Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
