found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
