pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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