I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
