I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
