Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
