Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's blow job season.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize