Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
