i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How does one acquire holy water?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
