Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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