I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize