Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
