3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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