call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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