he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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