I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
