This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
