yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
