You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
