Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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