Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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