Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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