i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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