It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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