Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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