Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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