please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
