His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
