I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize