Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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