So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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