I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
