Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
