I need help removing her.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
