why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
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I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
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I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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