What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
