they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
