I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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