New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize