Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
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Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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