you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
