2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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