i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
