So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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