It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
