I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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