dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
no you cant smoke seaweed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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