I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
