the condom got lost in my hair
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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