so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
