Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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