The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
No subtext here. People are naked.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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